SCHLUMPF Practice Scramble Show (late August 2000)

Ann: Dear Mom, Pep Band Camp is fun! I've learned to play frolf, learned to chug a beer, met a few lesbians, and met a few guys who are still drunk from last year's Banquet Party.
But most importantly, Mom, I must confess that I've been smoking The Award-Winning Virginia Fighting Cavalier...

Scramble to: Boobies (two cirlces - Abbe & Amy are the "nipples")

The Virginia Pep Band offers a comprehensive 37-point check up program for first years which includes, but is not limited to: breathalizer tests, flexibility exercises, gag reflex suppression, snake choking, mammograms, and testicular cancer checks! All of these services are free of charge to any first year at your local Pep Band office.

Play: Centerfold

FLASH! After the first practice, Billy Bob First Year was interviewed about his new experiences. When asked, "Which do you prefer, Astroturf or grass?" he replied, "I dunno, I've never smoked astroturf!"

Scramble to: GOLD

Don't worry, first years, the Pep band can joke about things other than sex and alcohol... For instance, what is better than winning the Gold Medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded! D'oh, sorry guys.

The Pep Band would like to publicly apologize for that last joke. On a side note, Congratulations on your victory, Lamar!

Play: ESPN

FLASH! We're all going to hell!


Scramble to: Campfire (flame with cross as "sticks")

Dear Mom, the rats and bugs at O-Hill taste horrible, but there is unlimited rice and fish!
Johann keeps walking around naked. Oh well, hopefully I'll get voted off the first year island soon.

Play: Hot, Hot, Hot!

Off field...

Written by Andy "Grover" Smith (SARC '01), et al.