FSU Pregame by the Pep Band

Every irrational fear I'll ever need I learned in
Kindergarten:
     If you swallow gum, it takes 7 years to digest
     If you cross your eyes, they'll stick that way.
     If you stick the tip of a pencil in your mouth,
        you will die of lead poisoning.
     Flushing wakes up the sharks that live in your toilet.
     If you touch a baby bird, the mother will let it
        starve.
     And most importantly, don't ever, ever, under any
circumstances, take candy from the Award-Winning Virginia
Fighting Cavalier Indoor/Outdoor Precision(?) Marching Pep
Band and Chowder Society Revue, Unlimited!!!!!!

Many people feel cheated by our refusal to reschedule
tonight's game for network television.  Guess they found out
that not everything here revolves around money and football.
The Pep Band, however, has found a way to repay those eight
hundred thousand dollars... with ARA PLUS dollars!
Formation:  $
Music:  ABC Monday Night Football

Flash:  In honor of Pornography Awareness Week, while the
Pep Band scrambles on the field, I am up in the announcers
booth... (in a taunting voice) and I'm naked, I'm naked, and
there is nothing you can do about it.
Formation:  XXX
Music:  Centerfold

Now, to familiarize Florida State fans with our own
university, let's compare and contrast UVA with FSU's
rival... the Florida Gators:
We're a state University, they're a state University.
We have a football team, they have a football team.
Our students entered with an average 1215 on the SAT...
And they, well, they have a football team.
Formation:  FSU
Music:  Runaway!





            FSU Halftime Hi-Jinx by the Pep Band!

It's your worst parent's weekend nightmare... your parents
arrive an hour early.  Oh, Mom, Dad, I didn't expect you so
early.  These bottles?   I found them on the street and
thought I should recycle them.  Those balloons?  They're
latex balloons.  No, Mom, that's not a bra, it's a water
balloon launcher.  And the orange and blue vest?  Don't look
at that... that's for the Award-Winning Virginia Fighting
Cavalier Indoor/Outdoor Precision(?) Marching Pep Band and
Chowder Society Revue, Unlimited!!!!!!

With the coming of football heavyweight FSU, many of you
have worried that the balance of power in the ACC has
shifted.  But all is not lost!  We'd now like to present the
top 4 reasons the ACC is better off with FSU in it:
4.Good excuse to go to Florida every other year--even if it
is just Tallahassee.
3. You can never have too many marching bands.
2.  FSU linemen might crush Georgia Tech kicker Scott Sisson
1.  They're not from North Carolina.

Formation:  ACC
Music:  China Grove
(Band is doing the Tomahawk Chop on the field)

Flash:  Hey stop the chop -- That's not politically correct!

We wish to salute the referees of this evening's game with a
special formation designed just for them.  It says
"Thanks"... in  Braille.
Formation:     Braille letters (to the Alums)
Music:  3 Blind Mice, then goes right into Mustang Sally
(While Band plays Three Blind Mice, "refs" run around
"reading" the band)

In light of the anticipated shake-up in the White House, the
Pep Band would like to offer George Herbert Walker Bush some
ideas for what he can do after he retires...
6. Become a defense attorney for his son Neil.
5. Become a Scott Stadium usher.
4. Sell broccoli in Lafeyette Park.
3. Become a spokesman for the Hair Club for Men.
2. Replace Cliff on Cheers.
1. Stuff & mount Millie the White House Dog
Formation:  VOTE
Music:  Joy to the World