That Wacky Pregame Clempson Action

The Monolith:  Band is walking out on the field, solemnly.
Their heads are down, moving slowly but purposely.  Band
starts to form a triangle, while a slow, almost dirge-like,
drum cadence plays in the background.  As they forming up, a
large edifice, draped with cloth, is being wheeled onto the
field with incense bearers and hooded attendants.  They
regard this object with almost religious reverence.  After
the formation is there, the conductor takes the box and
gestures for a Horns Up.  He is wearing a long flowing cape
and white gloves.  He cues a chord.  He cuts it, and then
starts on a chord progression similar to 2001.  At the
climax, the starter gun goes off and the drapes fall, to
reveal, in large flaming letters, the words,Clemson Sucks.
The other side says Beat Clemson.

Music:  Live and Let Die

BANG!

                              

            Even More Clempsun Fun (i.e. Halftime)


     Wouldn't it be great if Clemson students were known as
2nd, 3rd, and 4th years instead of 6th, 7th, and 8th years?
     Wouldn't it be great if Clemson football players had
something other than a rock to rub?
     And wouldn't it be great if Clemson had a band -- a
really good band -- like the Award-Winning Virginia Fighting
Cavalier Indoor/Outdoor Precision(?) Marching Pep Band and
Chowder Society Revue, Unlimited!!!!!!

     Watch now as the Pep Band does their best impression of
the Clemson Band... and what we wish would happen to it:

     Band form block formation and plays "Hold that Tiger"
over and over.  Person in trench coat walks off side of the
field toward band.  He takes out a starter pistol gun and
starts shooting down band members.  They fall like dominos.
He shoots all but the last trumpet player who he walks up
to.  He takes the trumpet from his hand and hits him over
the head with it.
     Thank you very much!

We'd like to tip our hats to those of you who participated
in    "Smuggle a flask into Scott Stadium to Support the Pep
Band" Day.  Thanks a lot folks.

Formation: A flask
Music:  Bud Theme

With the 500th anniversary of Columbus Day only 2 days away,
the PB salutes Jim Bob Columbus, Christopher's younger
brother who sailed off the edge of the world and discovered
Clemson.
Formation:  A boat
Music:  The Love Boat

Flash:  Don't drop acid, just take it credit/no credit.

Another hurdle in the Republican quest for traditional
family values came this morning, when irrefutable blood
tests revealed that Vice President Dan Quayle is none other
than the father of Murphy Brown's love child.
Formation:  DAN to DAD
Music:  Centerfold
BANG!!!!! and off the field as the following is read...

Tune in next week, when Drum Major Erica Chun says "Hey,
wait a minute, that's NOT my baton..."