Clemson Pregame
Show 9/23/00
Announcer: I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix please
deliver... the award-winning Virginia Cavalier Pep Band!
Announcer: According to the Cav Daily, rock band Metallica sent the
University a letter warning against students' use of Napster to
download music files. The Pep Band, however, would like to present
the first-ever live bootleg MP3 - in streaming audio!
Form: MP3
MUSIC
Announcer: Bush and Gore finally agreed on the format of the
upcoming debates. After three such meetings, these veteran and master
debaters should be able to handle any rhetorical question thrown at them
at Pep Band Debate 2000, like:
- "What the heck is going on here?"
- "Who do you think I am?"
and of course, "Just what do you think you're doing there,
Mister?"
Form: box with checkmark
MUSIC
Recently, the U.S. government discovered that bioengineered corn had
slipped into the taco shells of a major fast food chain's tacos. On
further
examination, Pep band scientists discovered the following problems
with the fast food:
- Meat made from genetically engineered pocket lint
- Lettuce is actually green confetti from last year's St. Patty's parade
and worst of all, the main ingredient in their bean sauce - Mexican jumping
beans!
Form: TACO
MUSIC
Off field.
Clemson Halftime Show
Announcer: Cost of industrial-strength tiger trap: $9,000
Stupid looking safari hat: $25
Animatronic tiger rental from Siegfried & Roy: $12,000
Victory over ACC rival Clemson - priceless.
There are some things in life money can't buy - for everything else,
there's... the award-winning Virginia Cavalier Pep Band!
Announcer: This year, the Pep Band wanted to form the Olympic rings
on the
field, but our corporate sponsor, Master card, will only allow us to form two
rings.
Form: Mastercard logo
MUSIC
band runs [no drum cadence] to: image of waves
Announcer: This past Saturday, Virginia student Ed Moses competed in
the 100m breaststroke at the Sydney Olympics and, to our excitement,
won the silver medal! Blinded by his speed, fans at home may not have
noticed what really happened in the pool. The Pep Band will now
provide a Slo-Motion
replay of Moses in action:
MUSIC: 2001:Space Odyssey.
["Moses" raises his arms in the air to cymbals crashing... Wave
formation splits in two, breaks apart]
Announcer: On the first day, there were the Opening Ceremonies, on
the second day, the events began, but on the third day, Ed Moses
parted the waters!
Next Formation: LIVE
Due to the time delay, the Pep Band actually performed this show 15
hours ago! We're going to ruin the surprise and tell you that we got the Gold
Medal!
MUSIC
Off field.
Written by Andy "Grover" Smith (SARC '01), et al.