Brain:  Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky:  I think so Brain, but If we wore orange vests and smelled like
bourbon we'd be The Award Winning First Year Recruiting Virginia Fighting
Cavalier Indoor Outdoor Precision Marching Pep Band and Chowder Society
Review Unlimited!

Music

Announcer:  Are you lost now that Jerry Garcia died?  Are you searching
for something to fill that void in your life now that the Dead no longer
tour?  Well look no further.  Trade in that tie dye shirt for an orange
vest and join the Virginia Pep Band.  Join us on our musical tour of the
ACC and travel with us from show to show.  That's right Dead Heads, the
pep band wants you.  Besides, its got to be better than trying to find a job.

Music

Announcer:  Well it looks like that Crazy Clinton Administration is at
it again.  After attacking teenage smoking, Clinton has now set his sites
on Underage Drinking.  As of this morning, it is now illegal for anyone
under the age of 21 to sit in the student section during a Virginia
football game.

Music

Man #1: My Mafia was able to pay off the judge and get me out.
Man #2: I'm in a Mafia too.
Man #1: Hey, this Mafia is based in San Antonio!
Group: SAN ANTONIO !!!!!!
Man #3: get the cement.
Man #1: The Pep Band Mafia is based in New York City and run by people
 who know how a real Mafia should be run.
Man #2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH splash!
Man #3: Say hi to Jimmy Hoffa for us.

Man #1: The pep band Mafia, Accept no cheap imitations.

Music

Announcer:  We were going to make a joke about the construction on the
gilmer field recreation center, but quite frankly, we just couldn't get
it finished.

Music

Announcer:  And now for an audience participation joke.  Would everyone
please respond appropriately .... Ready ...

Knock knock.
Crowd and Band: Who's There
Announcer:  WA
Crowd and Band:  WA Who
Announcer:  He he he he he
(band starts to walk away)
Announcer:  Alright band, I promise... No more stupid knock knock jokes.
(Band returns)

Music

Announcer:  Will the owner of a brown wallet containing $735 please come to
the rear of the stage to claim it.

(Band runs off stage to get the wallet)